Dads should add personal and family health metrics to their professional growth plan

When I was a kid, I remember going to my Dad’s office and going to pick my Mom up at hers.  I’ve come to appreciate the distinction.  It’s not a comment on my parents but rather a way to analyze how people – particularly men and the organizations they work for – can change for the better.

I visited my Dad’s office regularly, even as a youngster.  At times, he had his own business and we’d play with the supplies and equipment.  We got to see him in what seemed like his natural environment.  I don’t recall doing that with my Mom though.  She worked and had a great career but I don’t remember ever going to see her in action all that much.  Instead, when I was able to drive, I often waited outside her office to pick her up but rarely went in.  Was this just because I was a grumpy teenager?  Maybe, but maybe not.

Looking back, I realized it’s because there was an expectation that my Mom’s natural environment was not her office but her home.  This is not a comment on my parents or their choices.  My Mom is the greatest person I’ve even known and I miss her every single minute of every single day.  She was a strong, independent-thinking, kind, compassionate person and she helped make my childhood a remarkably happy one.

Rather, it was emblematic of something that I believe persists today and that organizations should strive to change.  Kids learn that a Dad’s natural environment is out in the world – working, doing business, putting in long hours.  Those same kids simultaneously learn that it’s Mom who is usually home, taking care of them.  Is this the case across the board?  Absolutely not, and the world is changing, but it still happens quite a bit.

There are generations of kids who learned that Jack Arnold from the Wonder Years wasn’t exactly a non-fictional character.  Distant, grumpy, closed-off, pre-occupied by what was happening outside the home rather than in it.  Organizations in touch with the zeitgeist should want to put an end to this kind of stereotypical masculinity.  But why and how?

To start, they need to remember that they value what they measure and measure what they value.  They’ll always measure profit and loss, revenue growth, change in share price, return on investment, current ratio, etc. Companies value these types of metrics because they contribute directly to financial success.  They value them so they measure them. As they should.

But a growing body of research and common sense tells us that happier, healthier people are often more engaged, more productive, more collaborative and just more pleasant to be around. As Richard Branson once said, “too many people measure how successful they are by how much money they make or the people that they associate with. In my opinion, true success should be measured by how happy you are.”

Most people don’t know how much money you have in the bank but can intuitively sense how happy you are.  It was Malcolm Forbes who said, “to measure the man, measure his heart.”

Quality of life, well-being and personal satisfaction are new metrics that organizations should consider, not just because they drive an organization’s ultimate success – financial and otherwise – but because they contribute to the world around them.  They solidify an organization’s place in the culture in which it operates and expand its social license.  It goes beyond corporate social responsibility.  It’s about having a meaningful relationship with those that contribute to your success and your future.  It helps create a community that can contribute to an organization’s ongoing success.

It’s not lost on me that these two quotes came from fabulously wealthy men.  They had the benefit of extreme privilege.  Nevertheless, they may also be cautionary tales and perhaps they came to know it.

Many thought-leaders, such as Marshall Goldsmith, have written about the benefit of talking to your 90-year-old self.  Imagine, if you can, that your 90-year-old self could talk to you now, or when you were younger.  What advice would your 90-year-old self give your current self?  Would it be, “you should have put in more billable hours and made more money” or “if only you’d only spent less time with your children, you would have led a better life”?  I doubt it.  In fact, research like this has been done and the comments are usually the opposite.  “Spend more time with your kids”, “work less and play more”, “keep healthy”, and “fall in love” are pretty common answers. 

Don’t believe it?  Try to experiment for yourself, or ask loved ones to try it too.

Organizations need to do the same thing.  They need to change how they think when it comes to measuring the performance of their team.  Your people drive not just your objective success and bottom line but your role in the world, your culture and your social license.  Sustainable organizations need sustainable people. 

It could just be that men who have been taught that their natural environment should be outside the home need extra-motivation, help, and persistence in order to change.  Altering performance metrics can help with that change.  Organizations should treat all inclusive and wellness behaviours as a performance issue, not just a personal one.  Helping to breakdown old stereotypes through performance management could help an organization’s all-around success.